Haven’t posted anything on Tumblr in such a long time..but please hear me out…
It’s been nearly 2 months since I last saw you, physically, since I last gave you a meaningful hug, since I held your hand, since I gave you a kiss on the lips, since I got to smile knowing that you’re there by my side.
I REALLY MISS YOU.
Today was the first time in a while that the very thought of you being so far away from me, on the opposite side of Cali, that I let out my tears and emotions from missing you so much. It’s been a long journey so far. It’s been only 2 months and yet my heart feels heavy, yearning for you to come back into my arms, patiently and impatiently waiting to see you again on June 20-23. I’ve been working so much and keeping myself productive this whole time just to avoid the idea that I miss you. Going to events and hanging out with people just to take up my time, because I wish that time would be spent with you. I just don’t want my emotions to take over me. Today, I’ve come full circle and realize how much I truly miss you. I don’t know what initiated these sudden feelings today. Even though I still have to go to work today, it was the first time in a long time that I had a decent sleep, had a decent amount of time where I just did NOTHING and enjoyed the relaxation and comfort that is, my bed. This long stretch of nothingness while I wait for work gave me some time to think about where I stand in life. I’ve got multiple jobs, I have all the friends I need whenever I need help, I’m going to Grad school in a couple of months, I’m finally getting over this financial hump because of how much I’ve been working, I’m using up all my energy to put myself in a better position…
But the best part of my life isn’t about all of these things, it’s all because I have YOU!
With this being my first shot at long distance relationships, I can truly say that “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” I don’t know what life has in store for us, but I want to make sure that we take life as it is, one day at a time. When I see your face as I approach the airport, when I see you open my car door and place your luggage inside, when I see you finally sit down on the passenger side and buckle your seatbelt, I will quickly grab your hand and NEVER let go! I want to grasp your hand firmly and know that the strength we hold our hands together erases the pain and longing that we both have felt from being so far away. I want to give all the energy and effort that I have when you’re here, because we don’t know if there will be a next time.
I flash back to our performances at TNT, and it’s crazy that those songs that we did, weren’t all about just performing…we chose those songs because they are significant to us. I miss those moments where we can sing songs on the radio and care less about what’s going on because we are just trying to enjoy ourselves. I’m grateful that we push each other to our limits, constantly supporting each other, Facetiming when appropriate, always being there to motivate and fight through the struggle.
BOTTOM LINE: I miss you, I love you, I can’t wait to see you next month. For the time we have together for those 4 short days, I want to live those days as if we would never see each other again. Every moment, down to the last second, is all I need to make me feel happy inside, once again.
COME HOME!!! COME HOME!!!!